Pretty Little Liars Recap: Hannah Forgets That This Isn’t Spring Breakers

PLL

Oh my God, guys, I’m so late on recapping PLL. Oops! It’s especially sad because this week’s episode was actually fantastic! This week we learned that Spencer is not a sofa, Mrs. Hastings!, Aria’s brother didn’t actually run away or die, and every sorority house has a miniature forest in its backyard. I’ve been feeling like recapping the episode scene-by-scene is becoming a bit cumbersome, so I decided to go about it different this week– here’s ten things you need to know about episode 5, Gamma Zeta Die.

1. Aria’s brother Mike has not actually run away or been taken out by A. Apparently, he’s just been away for like, a season and a half going through the final stages of puberty because damn. Pretty sure I speak for all the ladies when I say: welcome back, Mike. We hope you stay for awhile this time.

2. Ella Montgomery does not have Piper Halliwell’s freezing powers. If she did, she would have been able to stop A’s bee attack in her car. Seriously, this may be one of the worst things A has done yet. I can’t even imagine sitting in my car, innocently trying to drive home, and being attacked by a swarm of bees coming from the vents. Like, what if it had been a really hot day out, and the AC had been blasting when Ella turned on the car? The bees would have literally rocketed out at her! THAT IS SO SCARY!

3. The writer’s were on this week. Not only did we have Spencer yelling at her mom that she’s not a sofa! She can’t just be “repositioned”! We also had Aria referring to A’s bee attack as “four wheel hive” and Spencer saying that Hannah gave her mom a “Britney Shears” in her nightmare. To be honest, these all sound like Hannah lines to me. I guess they decided to spread the wealth this week.

4. The Hastings hire a college counselor for Spencer who looks like he’s just barely graduated from college himself. Emily takes advantage of his services too, maybe a little too much. Brendan The College Counselor definitely has the hots for her, and is definitely not pleased when Emily tells him she’s in a relationship (with a girl). Which she happens to do at a sorority party, which he is conveniently attending. Something is a little off if you’re a college counselor who can inconspicuously attend sorority parties at the schools you’re taking high schoolers to tour. Anyways, I definitely do not trust this guy. Something is going to go horribly wrong here.

5. Hannah forgets that she is no longer filming Spring Breakers and brings the gun she found in her mom’s (locked) closet (seriously, who even has a lock on their closet?) to the sorority party to meet up with Spencer and Emily. This may perhaps be one of the worst decisions ever made on this show, which is saying a lot, because there are a lot of bad decisions made on this show.

6. Wherever the Liars go, there will always be some type of forest for them to get lost in. Case in point: Emily goes searching for Hannah and gets lost in a forest of small trees behind the sorority house. I am not even kidding you. It’s like they planted it there specifically so Emily could get lost and scared in it. You’d think by season four these girls would’ve learned that nothing good ever happens when they enter forests at night.

7. While looking for Emily at the party, Spencer accidentally finds a secret room in the sorority house, which definitely often happens at sorority parties in college. There’s a pink phone from approximately 1993 in it. She calls Aria. It’s the number from Tippy.

8. Hannah continues to make us all want to pull our hair out by stealing a beer stein and heading off into the woods, where she uses it as a shovel to dig a hole and hide the gun. Of course, A has tipped off the cops and she’s arrested, and there’s no Wilden this time for her mom to screw around with so the paperwork can conveniently “get lost.” How will she get out of this one? My money is on Caleb coming to save the day (please don’t leave us for Ravenswood, Caleb!).

9. Using PLL as the lead-in for Twisted was the smartest thing ABC Family ever did. I’m hooked. Okay, are you guys shipping Danny/Jo or Danny/Lacey or Rico/Jo? Like I’m honestly wondering because I think I’m shipping Rico/Jo but I can’t decide.

10. More Mike Montgomery please.

For whining in 140 characters or less: @jillpell28
For a bunch of reblogged GIFsets of Harry Styles: hashtagjill.tumblr.com
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