36 Signs You Went To Fordham University

EDIT: Now to be actually found on BuzzFeed! Man, was I wrong about this not catching on over there.

So lately, one BuzzFeed post that’s been showing up on my radar has been that “30 Signs You Went To NYU.” It’s like, kind of rude, like BuzzFeed knows back when I was applying to college (aka the Stone Age) (okay that’s an exaggeration, but that’s what it feels like), NYU was arguably my top choice and they waitlisted me because of  my C+ in Precalculus (that’s an assumption on my part but whatever). In the end it didn’t matter, because I ended up a way better, more fun and cooler school that I graduated from with… well. Less debt than NYU would’ve given me. I’m talking about the second-choice of NYU wannabes everywhere: Fordham University.

Here’s the thing though: we might arrive there as NYU wannabes, but we definitely don’t leave there like that. Nope, I am 110% ram forever and ever and if I did it all over (which I desperately want to) I would do it exactly the same. But this BuzzFeed post sparked an idea in me. Since I’m unemployed and living with my parents again, basically all I do is reminisce about being in college and how awesome it was an how much I miss it, so I feel like I can channel all of this into a similar list: 36 Signs You Went To Fordham. I doubt this would catch much attention on BuzzFeed simply because our student body is considerably smaller than NYU’s, but I have a feeling at least a couple of people I know will enjoy this.

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PLL Recap: The Toby And Caleb Show

PLL

Sorry for slacking. Last week just got away from me. All that we really need to know about last week’s episode of PLL is that Rosewood PD actually arrested Ashley Marin although it would appear that she didn’t actually do it! It’s–surprise–a set up by A. Also, everyone gets mad at Spencer because they find about Toby and A’s Tour Bus, Mike’s friend spreads slut rumors about Aria, and A’s mask at the end actually distinctly resembles one of the girls instead of just a random being. Read on for more about this week’s episode and also my PLL Top 5 because if we’re all honest we’re mostly watching this show for the hot guys.

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Tweets By Cher: Inspiration For Us All

So it’s been about two months since us members of the class of 2013 graduated. It’s a tough transition. College rocked: we lived with all of our friends, drank a lot, and sometimes even went to class. Now we have to be a part of the real world, and have actual responsibilities, and a career and stuff. A lot of the time, it sucks. Maybe, like me, you’re struggling to find a job or career path while still living at home with your parents. Maybe you’re trying to figure out whether or not to continue your college relationship. Maybe you’re just having kind of a shitty day. If any of this is the case, I have something for you: Inspiration by Cher.

Now, if you’re not following Cher on Twitter, you’re doing it all wrong. If you’re just plain not on Twitter: why are you living in 1957? Anyways, Cher is the undisputed Queen of the Tweet and she inspires her followers daily with capslock and brilliant words of wisdom. Here is a compilation of some of her greatest tweets, dating back only through May 18th (the day of my commencement) that can aid and inspire you through any tough postgrad situation you might be facing:

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What My OKCupid Profile Would Look Like If I Was Honest

okcupid

I’m a twenty-two year old single female with many single friends, and from that statement you can probably infer that OKCupid is a frequent topic of conversation. If you’re not of my demographic, or live under a rock, or are of my demographic but in an arranged marriage or any similar situation, OKCupid is a free dating website. Anyone and everyone can use it, although from my understanding it caters to a more 20-something crowd (doesn’t mean there’s not creepy old dudes–or ladies #equality–trolling on there though). Now, like I said, OKCupid tends to come up a lot in conversation amongst friends and acquaintances. As a disclaimer, I’m not actually on OKCupid. I was once, about two years ago, for like 57 hours, but some of the messages were just too weird, so I am no longer (nope, instead I’m writing this blog in pajamas at 4:00 PM in bed eating a bowl of ice cream. I need more help than OKCupid can probably give me).

The other thing about OKCupid, or any online dating website or just social website in general, is that people lie on the Internet, which we’ve all learned from either personal experience or MTV’s Catfish. In some cases it’s pretty extreme (see: all episodes of Catfish so far this season) but in some ways it can be relatively innocuous. Obviously, when you’re looking for a relationship and making a first impression via the Internet, you’re going to highlight all your great qualities and take about 1,345 selfies from only good angles, while conveniently neglecting to list the fact that you’re a mouthbreather, that full-body picture is from two years and 20 pounds ago, or you have a weird laugh. We all do it, we just want the chance to snag a keeper with all of our fantastic personality traits before exposing them to the fact that we whine a lot and are a chronic double-texter.

But you know what? Honesty is the best policy. As (most) episodes of Catfish teach us, a good relationship can’t be built on Internet lies. So I wrote a hypothetical OKCupid profile for myself, based on the actual questions on the website, so that should I ever decide to dive back into the online dating world I can ensure that Nev and Max will never show up on my doorstep (although haaaay if you guys want to you totally can! #cuties).  Continue reading

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Hannah Forgets That This Isn’t Spring Breakers

PLL

Oh my God, guys, I’m so late on recapping PLL. Oops! It’s especially sad because this week’s episode was actually fantastic! This week we learned that Spencer is not a sofa, Mrs. Hastings!, Aria’s brother didn’t actually run away or die, and every sorority house has a miniature forest in its backyard. I’ve been feeling like recapping the episode scene-by-scene is becoming a bit cumbersome, so I decided to go about it different this week– here’s ten things you need to know about episode 5, Gamma Zeta Die.

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Amanda Bynes Seems Pretty Crazy But Is Actually Tweeting Things We Can All Relate To

I See Right Through To You  on TwitpicMy Fave Pics  on Twitpic

Okay, so, maybe I’m projecting, but I feel like we’re all pretty obsessed with Amanda Bynes right now. Am I right, or am I right? Ever since the year 2013 began, Amanda has been tweeting up a storm and getting progressively — seemingly — more insane. Personally, I didn’t hop on the Amanda Bynes Twitter Train until after the Gymnastics Incident in Chelsea, but I haven’t been able to get enough of it since. Now, all anyone these days ever talks about is how crazy she is, but I’m here to tell you to look deeper than TMZ! Believe Everything She Says On Twitter! A lot of what Amanda says is actually super relevant to our lives! Here’s why (in chronological order!): Continue reading

A Cover Letter That Addresses My Actual, If Unmarketable, Skills

If you’re like me (I assume everyone who reads this blog, if anyone reads this blog, is like me) you are a recent college graduate, or about to be a college graduate, and you are spending or have spent hours of your life drafting, proofreading and sending out cover letters. Having to write cover letters is basically a fate worse than death. My personal process is somewhat similar to the process with which I wrote research papers in college: put a heading in a Word document, then scroll through Twitter, Facebook, BuzzFeed and Reddit for about an hour and a half, then go back and stare at the mostly-empty Word document, then lie face-down in bed yelling into a pillow “I HATE THIS NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO HIRE ME” for about twenty minutes, then go back and look at the job posting for awhile, then type an introductory paragraph, then lather, rinse, repeat. Personally, I dislike writing cover letters because it involves a few of my least favorite things: having to talk myself up (self-deprecation is not acceptable when trying to get a job, apparently), having to actually be professional and serious about something, and having to use buzz words and phrases like “strong communication skills” “multi-tasker” “detail-oriented” and “familiar with Microsoft Office.”

This has been my life since I graduated on May 18th (okay, that’s an exaggeration. I probably spent a good week and a half mourning the fact that having to make it somewhere [class] by ten am was no longer an acceptable reason to wear yoga pants in public and that in the real world you can’t just tell your advisor that you don’t like a job and you don’t need the credits so you’re dropping it). So to take the edge off my frustration, I wrote this, which I consider to be a real and honest cover letter that highlights my greatest skills (all of which are highly unmarketable). Click that little “read more” button then let me know if you would hire me. Continue reading